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24 hours from meltdown.

Here i am, 24 hours away from my first attempt at getting on a mic, in front of anyone. Fuck. It's a terrible feeling, and yet, at the same time it feels like its way over due. I have so much to say, and I just haven't figured out how. I have been nervous over various things in my life before, but this is different. This is the fear of 100 percent personal failure, in front of a crowd. I am unsure how to approach this, but i have an idea. Laughter, be it at my own expense, or not.

For years i have thought about this, always retreating with the feeling that it was somehow untouchable. That i was not good enough, or that i would fail. For the first time, I have accepted that I WILL fail, over and over again, until I don't. and when that time comes, where I "don't", it's all downhill. I know now that I can do this, but the bigger victory for me? Is actually doing it, no more "what if".

I will be writing all about this experience tomorrow night, as a first of many. Here's to 5 minutes that could change my life.


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